My Golden Downward Spiral
The golden spiral looks beautiful in theory - and in nature.
Perfect balance. Timeless proportion. The kind of design harmony that makes your brain exhale.
So naturally, I tried to use it.
One night, I was redesigning a website banner — obsessing over every module, every font size, every pixel of spacing. I was aligning everything to the golden ratio. Meticulously. Painfully. The kind of work only a designer could love… and spiral inside.
It looked incredible.
But then I launched it.
And in the real world — in the fluid, messy reality of browsers and breakpoints and user behavior — it broke. Elements shifted. Layouts collapsed. All that sacred symmetry? Gone in a second.
I’d spent hours — days — crafting something mathematically beautiful… for a structure that couldn’t hold it.
And I was mad.
Mad that it didn’t work. Mad that I couldn’t control it. Mad that despite my degree, my experience, my eye for design… the site wasn’t finished. And maybe more than anything — mad that I knew I’d have to let go.
That was the moment I realized something:
I wasn’t designing for people anymore.
I was designing for control.
Beauty had become my crutch. My excuse. My way of staying “busy” without having to actually ship something into the world.
Because if I was still tweaking colors and spacing…
…I didn’t have to risk being seen. Or judged. Or failing.
I’ve worked in design, marketing, and coaching long enough now to see this pattern everywhere:
Creators tweaking fonts at 2am
Entrepreneurs delaying launches “until the site’s perfect”
Coaches stalling content because “the colors feel off”
We tell ourselves it’s about standards. Quality. Craft.
And sometimes, it is.
But more often?
It’s resistance. Disguised as aesthetics.
It’s the voice that says “this still isn’t ready” — not because it isn’t effective, but because it isn’t beautiful enough. And that voice knows: if it keeps you chasing perfection, it doesn’t have to face the discomfort of progress.
These days, I still care about beauty.
I still believe design matters.
But only after it works.
Only when it supports the message — not suffocates it.
The truth is: a site can be imperfect and still drive sales.
A post can be ugly and still make an impact.
A brand can be messy and still feel magnetic.
What matters most is momentum. And momentum only comes when you’re willing to let go.
Let go of perfect. Let go of proportion. Let go of the golden spiral.
And just start building something real.